Friday, May 12, 2006
A few days ago I a had a very strange memory pop into my head. It was more of an image than a entire memory, but it made me laugh. It was an image of Jeff sprawled out in our entry-way at the bottom of the stairs. He is wearing a small and very tight t-shirt along with a tight pair of shorts. He is acting out an emotional scene from one of our movies. I don't remember the details of why Jeff was doing this, but it had something to do with Drew not cutting it in the emotional scene, so we brought Jeff in as the acting double.(meaning that Jeff put on Drew's clothes and acted out the scene instead of Drew) As the image went away I thought to myself "Why can't I be a kid again?" Throughout the rest of the day memories from my childhood continued to come to mind. Drew doesn't believe me on this one, but they use to call me "the untouchable" during recess because I could go for weeks without being touched in touch football. I remember playing games like guns and hide and seek out in our col-de-sac with a bunch of other kids. I have a very specific memory of watching Drew play basketball at the Hancocks in nothing but his shoes and speedo. One of the highlights of my week was always sunday afternoon playing games like smear the queer and Hotbox. I think about all the many walks home from Shaffer, moments like almost getting beat up by David Bock, or going on adventures through "nam." I loved it, it was so good being a kid. Now what do I do? I go to work, I study, I do things for church(I was just called as the Elder's Quorum President) and I try to have somekind of social life. It is a rare moment that I get to do something truly spontaneous anymore, and I miss it. Although I enjoy the responsiblities and growth that comes from life I just wish for moment I could be an eight year old again. Sadly, I think that might have been my peak age and it has been all down hill from there.:-)
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5 comments:
I agree with you Addie. The "grown-up" world ain't all it's cracked up to be. That's why you have to get married and have lots of kids. Our kid is still to small to act in movies or shoot hoops in a speedo, but just being around him brings me down to earth to the simple and the beautiful in my life. In this big, crazy and often ugly world, kids rule!!!
Ditto to all the above. Thank you, Adam, for a most thought-provoking post.
When I think back to my childhood, I cannot define it by any period of time. It was endless, eternal, innocent bliss. For me, it was riding bikes down Knight Valley Drive, masterminding "Rodney Traps", playing GI Joe's in Jason Wager's backyard, sledding down Jason's hill ("Snowcat!), jumping through gigantic piles of leaves in the creek, and eating Mom's roast beef and mashed potatoes.
Christmas, Halloween, Fourth of July, Birthdays, Shadow, Thorpe Gordon, YMCA Swim Team, 8 years old, 6 years old, 11 years old . . . all blending into a perfect continuum of happy childhood.
Where did those days go? How did things get so complicated?
I agree with Jeff, that having children brings you back to reality. I have often had the experience after being wrapped up in a disheartening, stressful day, of walking in late and watching my kids peacefully asleep, lost in the golden slumber of the eternal childhood that we've been reminiscing about. And I think, That's what it's truly all about. Their childhood is infinitely (almost literally) more important than my own adult endeavors. And I feel an overwhelming desire to nurture and protect this innocent time of their lives, so that they can fondly remember these days in the same way I do.
That being said, we cannot live in the Eden of childhood forever. We each have our own fall from grace, and must labor by our own sweat and tears back towards paradise. Mortality, hormones, pain, responsibility, heartache . . . these are the dark clouds that ominously hang in the sky just beyond the horizon of our childrens' eyes. The storm relentlessly encroaches, and we have to prepare our children for it. But we also can protect them and encircle them in love, so that they look forward to the rest of their life with enthusiasm, confidence and anticipation.
I think that a poem by Dylan Thomas captures this feeling more than I ever could. Go give "Fern Hill" a good read. I'll excerpt it here:
Under the new made clouds and happy as the heart was long,
In the sun born over and over,
I ran my heedless ways,
My wishes raced through the house high hay
And nothing I cared,
at my sky blue trades,
that time allows
In all his tuneful turning
so few and such morning songs
Before the children
green and golden
Follow him out of grace,
Nothing I cared,
in the lamb white days,
that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
In the moon that is always rising,
Nor that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
Very, interesting thoughts by some very profound and deep men. I have to say it pleases me as your father to hear of good childhood memories. However, I also have to admit I have no idea what the poem Mark posted is talking about. Why can't these guys speak english and just come out and say what they want to say.
You guys are the best.
Dad
Okay, sorry--I know this post is several weeks old by now, but I've been thinking a lot about a related quote I read from a Woman's Day magazine. It's by Bruce Springstein:
"The trial of adulthood is to hold onto your idealism after you've lost your innocense."
Isn't that so true? Remember when you were a kid and you just thought the world was the most perfect place? But as you grow up, you face the disheartening truth--life is hard. There are ugly things out there in the world. The trick is not to be so discouraged by them that you become cynical. The trick is to believe that you can still live a happy life, whatever that means for you.
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