Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I have no thoughts. The other day I was talking to Laura and I told her that I would speak my thoughts out loud. There was a moment of silence that lasted probably 20 seconds because I was trying to think of something to say. That moment ended when Laura started laughing at me. I have never been very good at saying what I feel. I am no philosopher and certainly not a poet. I think most of what goes on inside of my head is pretty much worthless. Actually I probably shouldn't say worthless because they are my thoughts and that is what makes me who I am, but let's say that they would have very little worth (except maybe for humor) to anyone besides myself. However, I think I like that about myself. I very rarely dwell on how bad things are. Not because things are going great, but more of because my mind is occupied by other thoughts. I see people who are so caught up in what is wrong with their life that they seem to be worried when they don't have anything to think about so they find more things to complain about. They either go and find trouble or analyze something until it doesn't make sense anymore and find problems when it is really nothing at all. I do that sometimes, but the majority of my time is spent thinking about nothing. (Which me and Laura decided is not actually possible, we experimented) The more busy I get and the more responsibilities that I have, the more I miss my times of nothingness. I really feel that it is important to have such times, where nothing is really being decided, nothing is being analyzed, the future is not in the balance, all it is is your thoughts about whatever you want to think about. What do you think about? Music, sports, adventure, do you try to understand nature( this is when you are in nature most likely), family, and whatever else there is. I think these times of nothingnes are important because often times this is how we see ourselves no matter how far from the truth it might be. Our thoughts are full of what we would like to be. At least that is what my thoughts are full of. Not necessarliy what I actually am becoming but more of the ideal Adam. A wise prophet that lived in America around 100 B.C said "Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience." I think what Alma is saying here is that if we want to be good, if that is really that desire of our hearts, ultimately our lives will be good. That does not necessarliy mean from a moment to moment basis, but more of from a macroscopic view of things. The opposite is also true, if we want evil(a better way to say that would probably be if we desire evil things) ultimately our life will be full of evil. I quess what I am trying to say is this. In our own personal thoughts, the ones that only you can know that you are thinking, if we see ourselves being good, happy, honest, kind people, ultimately that is what we will become, but if we see ourselves in a different light we will eventually become whatever we see ourselves being. So let us see ourselves in a divine light, and let us be thinkers of good thoughts.
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4 comments:
"I really feel that it is important to have such times, where nothing is really being decided, nothing is being analyzed, the future is not in the balance, all it is is your thoughts about whatever you want to think about."
I agree with you, Addy -- most of the time I'm so caught up in school. work, marriage, etc. that I miss a lot of what's going on in my immediate environment. It's often a simple thing that brings me back "into the moment"...blooming flowers, children playing in the water at Confluence Park, a song that comes on iTunes in shuffle mode that surprises me, things like that. In any case I do think it's important to be open to life's little serendipitous accidents...they're like subtle wake-up calls. :-)
Addie,
Sometimes you are a profound man...other times you are a space cadet. What you have said here is on the profound side.
I think it is true that what goes on in our minds in those quiet moments where where we just kind of wander is a very definitive explanation of who we really are, what are real interests and intents are and to a major degree what we will do with ourselves when the rubber meets the road.
I heard once if you want to know the true character of a man (or woman) observe what he does when no one will ever know what it is that he has done. Much like that when we are in our own thoughts, thinking about whatever it is on our mind, I think that is the closest we come to the real us...the person we really are, the things that are of most importance and interest to each of us...in the depths of our own minds.
The outside world; our circumstances, our friends, our job, school, relationships so often dictate our actions and reactions to things. But I think in the depths of each of our own minds is who we really are.
I think it is a rare person that bares all his thoughts and real soul to even those that are closest to him or her. It is so refreshing to me whne I meet someone who is "real"...doesn't pretend or act in anyway but who they really are. Very, very rare as we all protect what we really are and what we really think sometimes. Closest thing to it is family and especially spouse where we see, most of the time, the real us.
That is why for me, I haven't got many really good, good friends outside of my wife and children. I can count them on one hand in my life.
I know it is my problem but there you go.
Good thoughts, Addie
Dad
Very interesting post, Ad, if not a bit self-contradictory. The evidence above speaks starkly against your contention that your own thoughts are worthless. In fact, I now consider you a metaphysical guru, and I your humble disciple. Make my thoughts one with yours.
You have a great characteristic about you, Ad, one that I would call good-naturedness and easy-goingness. All of us that know you realize that you're just a good man who's almost always in a good mood. People have always liked just being around you, because those qualities are so rare and reassuring.
I finished a great book recently called "The Living" by Annie Dillard. It is historical fiction, beautifully written, about the first settlers of Bellingham Bay north of Seattle. (Ty and Dana, I think you'd find the book very interesting). It is a vivid description of the hardships and death that enveloped the hardy pioneers of the region. One of the main characters in the book is a guy named Claire. He very much reminds me of you. He bounces along successfully through life with an open mind and a warm heart in spite of the swarming difficulties around him. It's not that he's not affected by the difficulties, just that he can sail through them without affecting his underlying joie de vivre.
Nothing gets him down, until a bizarre miscreant and evil genius named Beal decides to try and ruin his life. He mysteriously threatens to kill Claire in an effort to mentally control and torment him. Claire battles within himself as for the first time ever he considers his own mortality and a force of motiveless malignancy.
Want to know the end? Read the book. It's a good one.
(Hint: it does NOT involve spaceships or ketchup.)
Anyways, bud, keep that easy-going flame alive inside your soul. It is truly an invaluable possession of your character. And keep the deep thoughts coming!
So philosophical, Ad-Bad! I enjoyed reading it, and I really agree with what you say about what we're thinking when we don't have to think about anything.
I think, especially in today's world, it's so easy to become too busy. There's especially a lot of pressure on young people--more than there was when I was growing up. I hope Jeff and I can involve our kids in enough good things to help them explore interests, but not too many things so as to take away that down-time that is so self-defining. I hope they have enough time to relax and think about...whatever.
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